Counsel Has Four Paws
Retained for matters involving snacks, silence, and suspicious mailmen.
Terms of Counsel
Standard terms apply until somebody opens the treat cupboard.
- Ticker$LAWYERDOG
- PracticeTreat law
- Client PolicyEveryone smells guilty
- Office HoursAfter the second walk
- RetainerOne biscuit, nonrefundable
- Public CommentNo bark at this time
Office Procedure
His practice begins before breakfast and rarely survives the first walk.
- The Knock
A mail slot moves. Counsel immediately requests privacy.
- The Consultation
Every statement is reviewed from beneath the conference table.
- The Retainer
One biscuit secures representation. A second protects privilege.
- The Hearing
Long ears absorb testimony. Hazel eyes reject follow-up questions.
- The Adjournment
Proceedings end at the sound of a leash.
Core Competencies
Three services, all billed in biscuits.
- Side-Eye Review
Detects leading questions and unguarded sandwiches.
- Silent Counsel
Advises saying nothing until the treat bag opens.
- Doorway Objection
Sustained whenever the mailman approaches without representation.
Say less. Bring the biscuits.